Sometimes you don't want to remember the pain.  So you push it inside and keep it hidden from the world.  You put on a smile and press forward hoping that the emotional turmoil will never resurface. You don't want to think about all of those times you felt trapped and completely alone because he isolated you from your family and friends. You were scared of what he was going to do next.  You never felt safe in your own home.  Coming out of that nightmare, I have found a new strength and realization of knowing that that situation is not somewhere that I ever want to be again.