Sometimes you don't want to remember the pain. So you push it inside and keep it hidden from the world. You put on a smile and press forward hoping that the emotional turmoil will never resurface. You don't want to think about all of those times you felt trapped and completely alone because he isolated you from your family and friends. You were scared of what he was going to do next. You never felt safe in your own home. Coming out of that nightmare, I have found a new strength and realization of knowing that that situation is not somewhere that I ever want to be again.
He started abusing me before our son was born. He never hit me. I don't know if emotional abuse is better but it sure hurt a lot. He would just say mean things like "you need to loose weight", "you are stupid", "your family is a bunch of rednecks", "you are fat", "you are and idiot", etc. Then he would make me feel stupid by stating that whatever I told him was not actually true and that I was uneducated. He would say that my student loan debt was for nothing. He would complain endlessly about my weight. He would always put me down. His narcissistic behavior kept constantly had me doubting myself. That is how narcissists work. They always think that they are right. They manipulate you so that you think you are never right or that you are somehow going crazy. They tell you you are not good enough. They have these anger explosions that can come at any moment and make you feel like you are "walking on eggsh...
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